Girl talk

It’s been to long once again since I clicked on the write button.

I’m still here,

In case you didn’t notice the title of this post, this is a girl talk, boys you’ve been warned.

As a special needs parent, or just a woman in general, do you research the crap out of everything? Ya, me too. It’s a good thing when it comes to having a child with disabilities because it means you take in a ridiculous amount of knowledge, opinions, and facts about a subject at an alarming rate. But, it can also be a totally annoying thing, because there’s so much out there that is JUST OPINIONS. Well, this is where I’ve been. In research mode.

I’ve been having strange and annoying problems since my last daughter, Little miss psychopath was born. The first year we chalked it up to stress and I went on a heavy form of Ativan to help me sleep and get through the days. Then physical signs of deterioration started to show up in my body. Once again, my husband, doctor and even me said I was probably under to much stress. I was showing all the symptoms of a heart attack and seemed to be drowning, who wouldn’t be with two Autistic children, a full time job and a typical child. Ya, that’s what everyone said, so the decision was made for me to quit working and stay at home. But still, my body kept deteriorating. Not only was I drowning, I was sleeping an obscene amount, and still totally wiped. Drugs were switched around and different medications were tried, I’d been for an echo since my heart attack symptoms showed a loud murmur that wasn’t present previously. So what came of it all?  You’ll be surprised to know that I was sent to see an OBGYN. After almost FOUR YEARS of pain, exhaustion, and questions we finally got some answers.

So, onto a new chapter we go. I’m going to keep you in suspense while I tell you what I was going through 🙂 cause I’m fun like that you know.

It all started with trying to get pregnant. Which usually for me, haha, is all to easy. We had quite the time trying to conceive our Little Miss Psychopath. For those of you who don’t know me, usually all it takes is me hanging my clothes in the same closet as a man and there you have it! But with our last daughter, it took quite a bit more then that. We tried and tried and tried and failed. Finally, we were about to start a round of Clomiphene when we found out we were pregnant. But it would prove to be an extremely stressful pregnancy. I was missing a hormone that is vital for growth in pregnancy, a very odd thing for me also, my previous pregnancies had gone fairly smooth. I was at the hospital every month for ultrasounds until my third trimester when I was put on bed rest. Then it was up to the hospital every week to two weeks for ultrasounds and non stress tests to monitor our little girl. Two months into my third trimester she was born 3 weeks early via caesarean due to me no longer producing amniotic fluid for her. She was healthy though, and we were happy. Then more problems. First I had an allergic reaction to the staples, no surprise there as I had a reaction to stitches with my first c-section and they are made out of the same material. Then our baby got reflux. Exhaustion hit after that because I had to hold her upright for at least 30 minutes after every feed. Then the stress came as our Sir.E got diagnosed with ASD and ADHD type 4. After that, I stopped sleeping. I was exhausted but when I laid down at night, I couldn’t breathe. Sounds like a panic attack right? Things only got worse from that point.

Boys here starts some serious girl talk……hopefully you’ve left by now if not I think you’ve had fair warning.

My periods were horrendous! I was in labour for 27.5 hours with my first baby and I pushed for 5 hours all drug free ladies, at 19 years old, I am not a wimp when it comes to pain. I’ve got an oddly high tolerance for pain; Which is one of the reasons I never realized HOW much pain I was truly in. Every time my period came I was in bed, throwing up, flu like symptoms and in pain. Not to much pain to function, not at that point anyway. As time passed, it got worse, until last spring. Last spring I hit my breaking point. It took 3 years for me to hit it, but I am glad it happened. I was functioning in survival mode and not even realizing it. I ended up tearing the tendons in my ankle that hold it in place. It hurt, but not that bad. The GP I seen was surprised I was walking. I ended up in a cast for two months, after that I cut through my left middle fingernail and cuticle down through my knuckle joint, THEN I broke two toes! Yes it took all of this to realize something must be wrong with me. Ridiculous I know! But take note, because sometimes as a mom, especially if you are dealing with special needs kids, you are just going in survival mode and don’t know it, I definitely didn’t. No one could recognize I was just surviving, it’s up to you to know yourself and to take time for you to realize that. So June came and I realized I was having PMS symptoms for almost two weeks before my period came. THIS IS NOT NORMAL! But I didn’t know that. My cramps were unbearable at this point. I was living on Advil. But I thought, “everyone talks about cramps I guess I never knew before how bad they could be”. WRONG. Not only did I feel like I was dying three weeks out of four every month, but my period was pretty much non existent. It lasted for two – three days at most. I use a Diva Cup and I was filling it about 1/6 on my heaviest day. I thought, “this is totally ridiculous, why am I in so much pain and there’s barely anything coming out!” Then, the pain started to get worse. It became unbearable. Finally, I went into my GP.


Now if your judging me for not going in sooner that’s ok, I admit, it was silly. But keep in mind, I was totally uneducated on all things womanly, as so many women are. I thought that what I was experiencing must be what happens when we age and that it was normal. This is totally stupid. We should be educated on our own bodies as young women and we should be taught what to look for and when we should go see a professional. So here is some education.

As you age, your period should become LESS painful. It’s normal to have PMS symptoms 1 to 2 days prior to your period, anything more then that and something is going on. Your pain should not keep you bed ridden, it should feel manageable and should go away by day 2 to 3 of your period.

My GP made me feel like crap for not coming in sooner, which I seriously dis-like him for. An emergency ultrasound was ordered and I was sent to the OBGYN. It was a 2 month wait of torture. I’d been tracking my symptoms and showed all the markers for ovarian cancer.

Want to know the rest, you’ll have to wait till later today ;). This post is long enough.

Keeping you in suspense is kind of fun…


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