Almost there.

Summer is coming to a close here in our household (let the celebration ensue).

I love them, don’t get me wrong, but spending all day every day for what seem like months on end gets exhausting. So I will be among the many mothers celebrating the Monday night after labour day, because the very next day my children will go to school!

Back to routine, back to school, back to therapy, back to sanity….hopefully!

So as our summer comes to a close it only makes sense for me to be back to full time blogging. We will have our Little miss psychopath in full time therapy once again AND pre-school! This both terrifies and excites me. Our darling little miss psychopath came by that name for good reason; She’s a “Psychopath”. So with her to pre-school will go a worker! We meet her next week and I’m excited and nervous to have someone new working with her. She will have two new therapists starting with her on September 6th and a new worker starting the day after, it will be a big and busy month!

I think today besides getting off track and amusing you with how far off track I can go, I will lightly touch go on for hours on the subject of regression. My Little Miss Psychopath and Sir.E have been out of therapy since June. Sir.E is doing better as far as regressing goes, it used to be that our household would come to a complete halt turn into a train wreck for the months it took to replace staff, because, instead of me organizing, cooking, cleaning etc. all of my time would go to Sir.E and helping him to remember how to care for himself. Those things some of you mommies take for granted (or are extremely grateful for) like asking your big to brush their teeth three times and then them listening on the tenth try, well, those things don’t happen in our household. We would physically have to walk Sir.E to the bathroom, then tell him step by step, what to do. Let’s go through this together shall we.

Me: Sir.E go brush your teeth

Sir.E: “silence”

Me: Sir.E lets go brush your teeth

Sir.E: “blank stare”

Me: “takes him by the hand to the bathroom” Sir.E get your toothbrush

Sir.E: Where!? “in a ridiculously high pitched voice for an 8 year old boy”

Me: pick up your tooth brush from the tooth brush holder

Sir.E: “picks up tooth brush”

Me: Now turn the tap on and get your tooth brush wet “proceeds with rubbing first two fingers in small circles on each temple”

Sir.E: “turns tap on……”

Me: Now put your tooth brush under the water!

….Well maybe you get it by now? As I’ve said before and will say again, this job has taught me patience and an extremely awesome sense of humour! If I can’t laugh at those moments I’ll stroke out within the day hour.  So that’s what regression looks like with my “inward” Autistic child, but with my “outward” it’s a totally different story!

Not to long ago we were staying at my parents to help them re-shingle their roof along with a lot of other family members and friends. It was a grand ole time, we all brought our trailers and camped in my parents yard, all very “small townish” of us. Well, my Little  Miss Psychopath had been out of therapy for a couple weeks already and had started regressing very quickly. She lost and continues to lose about a word every week or two. She lost control of her behaviours, her actions, and now even her bodily functions. Yes, I know, it sounds extreme and upsetting but, it is what it is, and we deal with it how we can. So back to this weekend around lots of people and noise. Well, let me tell you, she got a bug on her… For a normal child who has a fear of bugs they would scream and cry and you would get the bug off and calm them down and that would be it. They might scream for a few weeks every time they seen a bug near them thereafter, but it hopefully would be manageable. But  not for our Little MP, haha oh noooo. This bug would land in her hair, and so she could hear it, but I couldn’t see it. So, she proceeded to start her epic screaming and I came out and brought her into our trailer. She continued to scream, I continued to not find the bug. So after ten or so minutes of her screaming, I figure I should take her into my parents house and see if we can take a “break”. So past all the other moms sitting on lawn chairs I walk with my extremely loud screaming 3 year old, so loud that the dads on the roof start watching. Haha, into the house we go where she continues to scream for around 10 minutes, then I proceed to take her shirt off….I’m upset at this point because she is, well, terrified for her life. In her mind this bug is surely going to kill her. In her mind, he is inside her ear and eating her brains and killing her. Then….the bug falls out of her hair and onto my foot, so I scream, and she screams more and more and more. I at this point take her downstairs in my parents house, past all the older people and few moms and dads in the house I go with my now screaming and shirtless 3 year old, her in my arms and tears streaming down my face. Once in the basement I decide the best option at this point is to take her clothes off, she is overloaded sensory wise and I figure anything will help. So naked she becomes! At this point someone has called my dirty gentleman for me and he comes downstairs to hold our screaming, terrified and very naked 3 year old. It takes us around 20 0r 30 minutes AFTER she’s naked for both of us to calm her down. Finally we get her to put on a pair of panties but nothing else and we proceed upstairs with our LMP in her panties. As much as it sucked for us and her to have this happen in front of people she doesn’t know very well, it was perhaps a slight shock to the guests staying there. Family or not, they aren’t with us on a day to day basis. They see all our hard work and our the therapists hard work paying off while we are in public; But behind closed doors, in our household having to strip our LMP because of a meltdown is a weekly occurrence. My sister recently told me one of her dear friends hadn’t ever seen someone have to strip a child because of a meltdown before. I found this slightly amusing (to said dear friend and sister, be glad you made me feel amused it’s a compliment!) I wonder now how the other moms watching felt? Did you feel my pain? Or did you wonder what in the heck was wrong with my kid! Well, either way, welcome to the world of regression. My then potty trained 3 year old is also losing control of her bladder now.

I guess my point in putting this out for the public is to help you realize that regression is real. That therapy truly does help Autism. I have two totally different autistic children. Opposites in almost every way as far as symptoms go. But once therapy stops they BOTH regress. So I will be among the many moms the Monday night after labour day celebrating!!! Celebrating that my bigs are starting school and my LMP is starting therapy again, which means her bladder control will be coming back, her speech will be coming back and her being able to live life to fullest she can will be back as well. But also, I will be alone in the  house some of the time again (insert crazy laugh here).



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