Note go to the bottom before you read this one, there are some pre-reading instructions 🙂
When we got married, just four short years ago, my step mother-in-law gave me the best advice that to this day hasn’t been topped. It’s a wise family secret that I will share with you…… not really, I share it with everyone who has a similar situation to me; scratch that, even just randoms off the street hear this one. So this advice requires a little background information, before Dirty Gentleman & I wed, we had children, actually I had children (insert awkward laugh here). On the beautiful day of our wedding our five and half year old son and our three year old daughter walked down the aisle as ring bearer and flower girl; I know, cute right? On with the advice, shortly after our wedding we attended a family dinner at my step mother-in-law and father-in-laws house. So there I sat at a fall adorned table with Dirty Gentleman’s sister, brother and two half sisters. After dinner, I sat down with my step mother-in-law in the living room for a tea, as we often do after a dinner. We talked about my wedded blissful life, NOT, we talked about Dirty Gentleman and his dad and how UNBELIEVABLY alike they are! (give me an amen if your hubby is this alike to his dad ;)) She looked at me and said, “T, no matter how hard it is, you have to put your husband before your children, be a wife first.”. Now as this settled in my brain, millions of thoughts swirling around it, I thought, no, you put your children first, they are the most important thing…….but somewhere in the dark parts of my brain that make me love Dirty Gentleman to my core, I knew she was right.
So I took this home, and I thought about it….I thought about it on and off for the next four years, I think about it still, and I know she’s right. My maternal instinct makes me think I should put my children first, but my heart knows that if I don’t put dirty Gentleman first nothing will work. Is it your natural instinct to put your littles first? I don’t know if I’m alone in this, because usually when I tell people this advice, I don’t listen back, I’m not a great listener, but I’m fantastic at this advice stuff right?! If you’ve made a habit out of putting your littles first, like I had because it was just me and them, trust me when I say your family gets a lot easier when you follow this fantastic woman’s advice. It is hard, she was right about that too, it’s hard not to just punch him when he’s giving them trouble for something I don’t agree with, and it’s hard to tell them to just wait for a minute while he finishes telling me his story. But it’s SO worth it to see the results of a true love marriage….plus the exhaustion, piles of laundry, screaming children, pasta sauced walls (that was a science experiment ok!) and unfolded but “I swear it’s clean” laundry. When I find the secret to fix that I’ll be sure to post it as a family secret as well, you know if anyone can find the secret it’s me…..I’ll meet you back here at the end of the week with some other tid bit I think you’ll enjoy, or just some more ramblings…….